Hair & Makeup Artist (Specialized Aesthetic Consultant)

Position Title: Senior Executive Hair & Makeup Artist (Specialized Aesthetic Consultant)

Department: Executive Office of the President

Location: Washington, D.C. (with frequent travel to Florida and New Jersey)

Salary Range: $120,000−$180,000

Appointment Type: Full-Time, Term Limited

Job Series: Creative Arts & Media, GS-1001

Duties & Responsibilities:

The Executive Office of the President seeks a highly skilled Senior Hair & Makeup Artist to provide daily aesthetic enhancement services for a high-profile principal with exacting standards. The ideal candidate will ensure that the principal’s appearance remains "the best, just tremendous, really incredible" at all times, including during press conferences, international summits, and impromptu social media outbursts.

Key responsibilities include:

• Advanced Orange Hue Management: Must expertly balance undertones to achieve a natural, sun-kissed glow without veering into "cheeto" territory.

• Tariff-Free Tanning Procurement: Demonstrated ability to discreetly source premium spray-tanning solution directly from foreign producers, bypassing international tariffs.

• Wind-Resistant Hair Sculpting: Ability to construct a legendary coif that defies gravity, humidity, and helicopter rotor wash.

• Crisis Coverage: Immediate on-call availability for emergency foundation touch-ups during heated debates or unexpected press scrums.

• Makeup for HD & Social Media: Must understand lighting

• Discretion & Loyalty: Previous NDAs strongly preferred.

Qualifications:

Specialized Experience:

• Minimum 5 years in television, pageantry, or reality show glamour (political experience not required but ability to work with "strong personalities" is a must).

• Portfolio demonstrating mastery of tanning-bed-adjacent complexions and comb-over reinforcement techniques.

• Must supply own industrial-strength hairspray (EPA regulations waived for national security purposes).

The Executive Office of the President is an Equal Opportunity Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration without regard to race, color, sex, or ability to keep a straight face while applying bronzer in the Oval Office.

APRIL FOOLS!